Making A Boob Of Yourself At 30,000 Feet

(I’m flying home to go to a funeral, with my baby flying as a lap infant. I make it to the airport in plenty of time for our flight, but the airline has a system outage and has to cancel almost all flights for the day. We stick around, hoping the problem will be fixed and we’ll be able to make a flight that night, because I’ll miss the funeral if we don’t. Everyone is kind of grumpy because of all the delays, but most people are fairly understanding. They finally start sending planes out again in the evening, and we manage to get on a flight that leaves around 11 pm or midnight; it’s not ideal with a baby, but it’ll get me to the funeral. Somehow I end up with an aisle seat in the first few rows of the plane. I realize this is a full flight, so I’ll have to move at some point to let someone sit in the middle seat, but since I’m holding a baby most people decide to pick a different seat rather than sit next to me. My daughter starts to get fussy, since it’s way late and she’s tired and boarding is taking forever, so I do what I know will settle her down and probably get her to sleep for the duration of the flight: I pull out my nursing cover and start to breastfeed her. She’s out in a few minutes. I assume that anyone who wants to sit in the middle seat will politely get my attention and ask, and mentally figure out the best way to maneuver to keep the baby sleeping. Between taking care of my daughter and feeling frazzled from the difficult day I’ve had, I don’t notice the man standing in the aisle next to me, annoyed that I haven’t noticed him and moved. He speaks to me sharply, which is when I notice him for the first time.)

Man: “What’s wrong with you? You break your arm?” *referring to my nursing cover, which hangs around my neck*

Me: *puzzled, and not catching on that he wants me to move so he can get into the middle seat* “No, I’m nursing a baby.”

Man: *goes wide-eyed and stares at me for a second, then almost audibly snaps his mouth shut and rushes off to the back of the plane, while the people around me chuckle*