Making A Boob Of One’s Self, Part 4

(I have just had my first daughter and am out shopping with her for the first time since she was born. About midway through, she starts crying because she’s hungry and I look for a quiet place to hunker down and feed her. I find a little bench in the women’s shoe department, sit down facing the wall, and start feeding my baby. I hear someone come up behind me. It’s an employee from another department.)

Man: “Ahem. Ma’am, the bathroom is right over there.” *points none too subtly*

(I ignore him and continue feeding my daughter.)

Man: “Ma’am, I’ll be happy to escort you there.”

Me: “Thanks, but no thanks. Almost done anyway. ”

Man: *sighs heavily* “Ma’am, I’ve been kind. You need to go there NOW. That’s indecent.”

Me: “Says you.”

Man: “I WILL have you kicked out.”

Me: “Under what grounds?”

Man: “Indecent exposure.”

Me: *I switch her to the other side* “I have an idea. It’s close to lunchtime. Why don’t you come in and eat with us? Grab your lunch.”

Man: “What?!”

Me: “Well, would you eat your lunch in a bathroom?”

Man: “No, that’s disgusting!”

Me: “Then don’t ask me to feed my kid there.”

Man: “Then kindly leave the store.”

Me: “No, thank you.”

(He finally stormed off and returned a little while later with a manager, just as I was finishing burping my daughter. The manager apologized to me and stomped off while his employee stood there gape-jawed as I calmly packed up and resumed shopping. In a society that glorifies boobs, isn’t it funny that they become ‘immoral and indecent’ when they’re actually being used for what they were developed for in the first place?)

Related:
Making A Boob Of One Self, Part 3
Making A Boob Of One Self, Part 2
Making A Boob Of One Self