Making A Boob Of One’s Self

(My boyfriend and I are laying in bed after a long night of heavy drinking with our college buddies. My boyfriend is half-way passed out and speaking to a body pillow.)

Boyfriend: “Hey there, you come here often? Squeeze!” *squeezes the pillow’s non-existent boob*

Me: “I’m pretty sure it is time for sleep when you start hitting on pillows when there is a real girl in your bed!”