Making A Bigger And Bigger Impact On Your Coworkers

(I work in the service department of a car dealership. There is an employee who works in Sales/Finance who is universally despised: he’s entitled, tries to get special treatment all the time, and often misleads customers in ways that end up throwing our department under the bus by making promises he and we cannot keep. He also has a habit of leaving cars, including his own personal car, in random places in the way of our operations – which he has just done again.)

Coworker #1: “So does he just think the whole dealership is his personal parking space?”

Me: “Apparently! He’s… kind of a douchebag.”

Coworker #1: “That’s a h*** of an understatement.”

Me: “Fine. He’s an ENORMOUS douchebag.”

Coworker #1: “Much better.”

Me: “He’s such a gigantic douchebag that every time he’s around, I feel lemony fresh.”

Coworker #1: “Lemony fresh! I love it!”

Me: “If an actual human-sized walking talking LITERAL douchebag walked in the door RIGHT NOW, we would have trouble telling the difference between him and [Salesman].”

Coworker #2: “No, we could EASILY tell the difference! If the two of them stood next to each other, [Salesman] would be the obviously BIGGER douchebag.”