Makes You Want To Stick Your Head In A Bowl Of Rice  

(I have interesting problems with my phones. For example, I once had one that would only call out, but couldn’t answer calls. I had one that wiped all my cloud and wouldn’t allow me to add anything back. Most recently I had a phone that wouldn’t play any audio. With all of them, I usually spend about two hours on tech support to get them to understand the problem and then they have to send me out a different device. Basically, I think I have a note in my account that “customer has problems we’ve never heard of.” Last night, my phone randomly stopped playing the audiobook. I look over it and try a soft reset, a soft power off, and then a delete and reupload for the app. Nothing’s working, so I decide it must just be the app and decide that I’ll just listen to music. That also isn’t working, so I call tech support, which then directs me to the online support because it’s after hours, so all of this conversation is typed out.)

Me: “My audio isn’t working on any of the apps on my phone. I have tried a soft reset and a soft power off.”

Tech Support: “Okay. Could you try holding the power button and the Apple button to get this to power off?”

Me: “I’ve already done that and since I’m on the phone with you, on the device, which isn’t working, I don’t think that would be a great idea.”

Tech Support: “Oh, you’ve already tried that?”

Me: “Yes.”

Tech Support: “Have you checked to make sure that the vibrate button is not locked? Sometimes that happens.”

Me: “I’ve checked that. This has happened before to a different phone and I know there was a way they remotely got in and fixed it.”

Tech Support: “Could you check to see if the volume is down really low on your settings?”

Me: “My volume is the same on all my apps. It is at a very high level. It is not coming through.”

Tech Support: “Have you tried putting it in a bowl of rice?”

Me: “How would that help?”

Tech Support: “Well, if you got the phone wet it would hurt the speakers.”

Me: “I didn’t get the phone wet; it just randomly stopped doing the audio.”

Tech Support: “So, you haven’t tried the bowl of rice?”

Me: *realizing this guy has no clue what I’m talking about* “Yeah, just tried it. Didn’t work. Can you remote in and fix it?”

Tech Support: “I need you to go to settings and make sure everything is clicked to volume and not to vibrate because that confuses the settings, as well.”

Me: *extremely frustrated at this point* “NOTHING IS ON VIBRATE! MY AUDIO STOPPED WORKING!”

Tech Support: “The audio isn’t working?”

Me: “No. It. Is. Not. Working.”

Tech Support: “You might have to go to the actual store and have them fix it.”

Me: “Yeah, okay, whatever.”

Tech Support: “So glad we fixed it! have a great night.”

(Thankfully, I called in the morning and they were able to remote access and fix it within ten minutes. That was quite possibly the most frustrating tech support that I ever had to endure!)