Makes You Want To Drink

| Working | October 18, 2015

(I am travelling home from university at Christmas, so the train is quite busy. A ticket inspector comes round to check the tickets.)

Inspector: “Tickets, please.”

Man #1: “Where do I have to change to get the train from London?”

Inspector: “You change at Birmingham.”

(Pause while she stamps ticket.)

Man #2: “Is there a buffet car on this train?”

Inspector: *turning with a glare* “Excuse me? I am currently dealing with this man here. Be patient and wait your turn!”

(She then walks off saying nothing more to either man.)

Me: *to Man #2* “That was rude of her. She had obviously finished talking when you asked.”

Man #2: “Maybe she’s just having a bad day.”

Me: “There’s a shop in coach D, by the way.”

Man #2: “Thanks.”

(He then goes to the shop. He returns with a cup of tea and is followed a few minutes later by the angry ticket inspector.)

Inspector: “Hey! Hey, you, what the h*** do you think you are doing?”

Man #2: “Umm… me?”

Inspector: “Yeah, you! You just walked through a busy train with a hot drink. You can’t do that. The cameras caught you doing it and now I’M going to get in trouble for your stupidity!”

Man #2: “I’m sorry; I’m confused. I bought this at the shop on board. If we’re not allowed to carry hot drinks through the train, why are you selling them?”

Inspector: “You’re SUPPOSED to drink them at the shop!”

Man #2: “You mean the very crowded shop with little room to move in? I’m more likely to spill it there. Anyway, it has a lid on it.”

Inspector: “I don’t care what excuses you come up with. Nobody is supposed to carry drinks through the train. They could spill.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’ve never heard of that rule before and I travel with [Train Company] very frequently. I mean, come on, the tables on the seats have cup holders, for crying out loud!”

Inspector: “Who the h*** asked you? Why don’t you just butt out of what doesn’t concern you!” *to Man #2* “I will not be told off for your idiotic behavior!”

(She takes his drink away and stomps off up the train, spilling some of the drink as she goes. There is a stunned silence.)

Me: “Why do I get the feeling it’s going to be her own behavior that gets her in trouble?”

1 Thumbs