Make You Wish You Couldn’t Hear Yourself

| Friendly | March 26, 2015

(My seven-year-old cousin is mostly deaf but hates his hearing aids, so we speak very loudly to him in order to be heard when he’s not wearing them. I’m watching him one day and take him to the store with me. He doesn’t have his hearing aids in and I while I can read sign language, I can’t sign very well myself, so I mostly speak out loud to him.)

Me: *loudly* “Don’t pull that off the shelf. It’ll break.”

Cousin: *nods and begins signing to me* “Can I have some chocolate milk?”

Me: *still speaking loudly* “If you’re good.”

Random Lady: *marches up to me* “You shouldn’t be yelling at that poor child! He’s just being a kid! How dare you yell at him in public like that! Don’t you know you could embarrass him? You shouldn’t be allowed to have children if you’re just going to yell at them!”

Me: “…Okay, one: he’s actually my cousin. Two: apparently you missed him using SIGN LANGUAGE. You know, language of the DEAF? He’s mostly deaf and isn’t wearing his hearing aids, so I’m speaking loudly so he can hear me. And three: at least I’m not getting in stranger’s faces and yelling at them before I understand a situation and looking like an idiot.”

Random Lady: “Well… it should be more obvious that he’s deaf!” *stomps away*

Cousin: *signs* “I want a cookie.”

Me: *extremely loudly* “I think that lady needs a cookie…”

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