Make Meat-Loving, Not War

, , , | Right | February 21, 2019

(A man comes up to the counter.)

Me: *usual greeting* “What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “A pizza.”

Me: “Sure! Which one would you like today?” *gesturing at the secondary menu right in front of him on the counter*

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know! A pizza! Any pizza! I don’t care!”

Me: “Well, everyone likes a little something different. Is there anything you like or don’t like in particular?”

Customer: “A PIZZA! A PIZZA! How hard is it to order a f****** pizza?!” *throws his hands up in disgust and looks around like everyone in line should feel sorry that I am making life so difficult for him*

Me: “Okay… Well, how does a BBQ meat-lovers’ pizza sound to you? It’s got pepper—“

Customer: “Yes! Okay! Whatever! You people… Just hurry up already.”

Me: “Okay, that will be [total], and we will have your order ready for you in ten minutes.”

(I ask the team to rush this gentleman’s order, as he seems to be a little bit difficult. I rush the pizza over to the gentleman where he is waiting, give him his order with a friendly smile, and wish him a good evening. The customer comes back ten minutes later, and throws the half-eaten pizza over the counter where it splatters all over our display cabinets.)

Customer: “This is disgusting! I want my money back! You guys are despicable, rotten mongrels! How do you run a business ripping people off like this?! I’m a vegetarian, and I hate BBQ sauce! You fed me meat! I want your name, and I’m going to get you fired, you stupid idiot! You’re so stupid that you won’t even have this dead-end job by the end of the day!”

(I am the owner of this store. Because it was rush period, I calmly told the gentleman that he wouldn’t be getting his money back because he refused to answer any questions about what he wanted, and that if he didn’t leave immediately, the police would be here from their station just on the corner to handle his “refund.” It took a few minutes to get him out of the store, still ranting and raving. We offered free drinks or desserts to the customers who had to witness the event, but every customer brushed off the offer, saying that it wasn’t our fault, “some people are just miserable b*****ds,” and that “we should charge everyone extra for the entertainment while they waited.”)

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