Make His Pizza Or Urine Trouble!

We are a takeout only restaurant, meaning we do not have a public restroom and, due to insurance issue, we cannot let anyone into the back of the store that is not employed with the company. An employee comes to the back of the store where I am working.

Employee:
“Can you come up here and talk to this customer? He said he is going to pee on our floor.”

Me:
“Okay.” *To the customer* “Hi, sir, I am the manager; how can I help you?”

Customer:
“Well, I ordered my pizza and it is going to take ten minutes and I have to pee.”

Me:
“Well, unfortunately, sir, due to insurance restrictions, we are not allowed to let anyone into the back of the store, but the video store next door has a public restroom that they are more than happy to let you use if you ask them at the desk for the key.”

Customer:
“Nope, I think I will go right here.”

We still have to make his order.

Me:
“I am going to have to ask you not to do that, sir.”

Customer:
“Why not? What are you going to do about it?”

Me:
“Well, I suppose I would have to call the police, sir, and I really don’t want to do that.”

Customer:
“Go ahead. I will be gone before they get here.”

Me:
“Well, we do have video, sir, and you did pay by debit so we have your information.”

Customer:
“Just go make my pizza.”

I went back, made his pizza, and spent the next ten minutes watching the video cameras to make sure he didn’t urinate in my lobby.