Mail Order Disorder

(I live in an apartment complex that mainly serves as a home for elderly and handicapped residents. One afternoon, I am expecting a check to come in the mail, and I need to cash it before the bank down the street closes at 4 pm. The mail lady doesn’t arrive until 3:45. There is a crowd of people waiting for their mail, and we are all watching her load the 50-or-so mailboxes in anticipation. As soon as she put my mail into my mailbox, I approached it to grab the check, since it was almost 3:50.)

Mail Lady: “I’m so sorry, but for policy reasons at this complex, you’re going to have to wait until I finish with all of the mail. I’m not allowed to let people grab their mail until it’s all in.”

Me: “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I had to wait for everyone’s mail to be put into their individual mailboxes. I just really need to get my check, but I’ll wait.”

Mail Lady: *very friendly and understanding* “No worries. It’s all right. Most people at this complex make that mistake at least once, and try to get their mail before I’m finished. I’ll try to finish up as quick as I can so you can get your check.”

Me: “Okay. Thanks!”

(I walked back to the group of waiting people. Suddenly, one of the old ladies behind me tapped me hard on the shoulder. Very hard. I turned around to look at her.)

Old Lady: *angry tone* “Hey! She said you can’t have your mail yet!”

Me: “Oh, I understand. I didn’t realize I had to wait until it was all in. That’s why I came back to the group here to wait.”

Old Lady: *becoming even more angry* “Don’t you talk back to me! You need to wait your turn!”

Me: “But… I AM waiting. I’m standing right here with everyone else, waiting.”

Old Lady: *almost screaming at me* “A brat is what you are! You NEED to WAIT YOUR TURN!”

Me: “Oh, for the love of god, I AM WAITING! I just made a small mistake. But I’m waiting now. Leave me alone.”

(At this point, I turned and looked away from her, figuring I’d ignore her.)

Old Lady: *almost going into a panic* “You shouldn’t get your mail because you won’t wait your turn! JUST WAIT WITH THE REST OF US!”

(She continues ranting about how I ‘don’t deserve’ my mail, how ‘rude’ and ‘thoughtless’ I am, etc. Finally, the mail-lady turned and looked at her.)

Mail Lady: “Ma’am. Shut your d*** mouth and leave the poor guy alone! He didn’t do anything wrong, and he’s already CLEARLY waiting! If you don’t stop, I won’t give you your mail! You’re just a rude old bat, aren’t you?!”

(The lady finally took the hint and left me alone. Thanks for dealing with her for me, mail lady!)