Maid Of Scary Stuff

(It’s Halloween night, a while ago before everyone had cell phones. I’m in college and my friends and I have been to an off campus Halloween Party. Being under 21, I am sober and the designated driver. Halfway back to the dorm, my car breaks down. Luckily we are able to pull the car into the parking lot of a popular DIY hardware and building supply store. We decide to see if we could use their phone. The lights are on, but the store closed about 10 minutes ago. Since we were in a bind, I knock lightly on the glass doors.)

Me: “Hello?”

(There are several men inside. All of them fit and strong, like what you’d expect from an employee of a building supply store. They clearly make eye contact, but they aren’t coming to help. Finally one man gets close enough to the glass doors that I feel like he could hear me.)

Me: “My car broke down; could I just step inside and use your phone, please?”

(He looks at me oddly and scurries to the back of the store, out of sight. I assume he has gone to get the keys to the front doors. My friends and I feel relieved and we wait patiently. A long time passes and we start to feel uneasy. No one has returned to the front. Just when I’m considering WALKING the five or so miles to the university in my high heels, a police car pulls into the parking lot. We are all relieved that we might finally get some help. The cop pulls up to our location.)

Me: “Hello, sir! I wonder if you could help us out! My car broke down. I have AAA; I just need to borrow a phone so I can call them.”

Cop: “How long have you been out here?”

Me: “About 45 minutes. We tried to flag down the guys inside the store, but they never came back.”

(The cop starts cracking up. My friends and I are totally taken aback.)

Cop: “I got a call from the guys in the store…”

Me: “Oh, I guess they just didn’t feel comfortable letting us in after closing.”

Cop: “They said there were some scary people trying to get into the store…”

(I look at my friends. We are all 20 years old, dressed as a sexy angel, a sexy witch, and I was dressed as a sexy French maid.)

Me: “Three hopeless, sexy, college chicks in need of help is… scary?”

Cop: “I think they were intimidated. You should probably get used to that. Now, let’s see if I can help you ladies out.”