Magic: The Everything

(I’m in college and during my free period a friend and I play Magic: The Gathering. I’m new to the game and he has been giving me advice during our first few games. I’m getting the hang of it and he decides that it’s time to play for real but I don’t feel ready.)

Me: “What should I use?”

Friend: “It’s up to you.”

Me: “What cards do you have?”

Friend: “I can’t tell you.”

Me: “Can you help me build a deck?”

Friend: “No.”

Me: “Just tell me one card you’re using.”

Friend: “No, sorry.”

Me: “Give me a hint.”

Friend: “Fine. This red-headed white guy will beat you black and blue until you’re green with envy.”

(Turns out THAT was a clue: he used some of everything.)