Magic: The Embarrassing

, , , , , | Friendly | January 30, 2018

(I am a girl who has grown up as a nerd from a young age, enjoying comics, card games, etc. I go to a comic book store where I’m a regular, to play Magic: The Gathering. Since I’m a girl, a lot of guys tend to think I’m a ditz and that I have no idea how to play the game. We have just finished “drafting” and creating our decks, and I am extremely confident in my deck. I am assigned to play with a guy I’ve never seen before.)

Guy: “Hi, I’m [Guy]. You’re [My Name]?”  

Me: “Hi, [Guy]. Yes, nice to meet you.”

Guy: “Okay, so, I’m guessing you’re new to the game. I’m willing to go easy on you so you can at least have the first round.”

(All the guys who know me just kind of chuckle under their breath, knowing that he has just signed a death warrant.)

Me: *in my best ditz voice* “Oh, thank you. I was so worried; I’ve never, like, played this game. I just came along with my dad.”

(I gesture to one of the guys close by.)

Guy: “Oh, that’s sweet. Dad-daughter time.”

Me: “Yeah.”

(We begin to play. As he promised, he goes easy on me, and I win. But he also lets me see a lot of his good cards, whereas I haven’t played mine, because I want him to believe I am bad. We continue to the next game, and he’s no longer going easy on me. He realizes over this round that I am now putting out heavy hitters and excellent combos. As I’m about to win, he stands up.)

Guy: “YOU’RE A CHEATER!”

Me: “How?”

Guy: “You had your dad build your deck! You’re supposed to make your own!”

Me: “Actually, [Guy I pointed out earlier] isn’t my dad. He’s someone who knows me because I constantly come here and win. I have done so for at least six months, now.”

Guy: “You aren’t new, then! Why didn’t you tell me?”

Me: “Maybe you shouldn’t assume that, because I have boobs, I don’t know how to play something. It’s extremely sexist. Now. Are you going to let me finish the game, or are you going to run out the door with your tail between your legs?”

(At this point he is looking around for support, and the owner says:)

Owner: “Maybe you shouldn’t be a sexist d**k!”

Guy: *looks at me* “You b****! *stands up and huffs out*

Owner: *yells to customer as he leaves* “I hope you learned your lesson!”

(He tried to come the next week. He opened the door, only to see me sitting there, facing the door, smiling. He automatically turned around and left, and he didn’t come back again. It’s always nice to put those type of guys in their place.)

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