Made A Fauce(t) Start

(I work in a bathroom showroom. A customer comes in looking for a faucet he claims to have ordered.)

Customer: “I ordered a faucet three months ago and I never heard back from any of you!”

Me: “Hello, sir. I think I was the one who helped you before. I don’t recall you placing an order, however. Can I have your name so I can look in our system?”

(He gives me his name and I look on the computer. There is nothing matching his name.)

Me: “Sir, there are no orders here under that name. Are you sure you placed the order here and not at another showroom?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m sure! I can’t believe this level of incompetence!”

Me: “Do you remember which faucet you were looking at? I can search by that.”

(He wanders through the showroom for a while, finally pointing to one. I once again search the system.)

Me: “Sir, all orders for that faucet have already been closed out and none of them match your name. We can order that for you now, if you would like?”

Customer: “I can’t believe this! I have to order twice just to get a faucet?! I’m going to tell everyone I know not to shop here, and I know contractors!”

Me: “Did you come sit at my desk and order with me, give me your information, give me the required 50% deposit, sign for the deposit, and receive a receipt?

Customer: “No. But I directly told you I liked that faucet!”

Me: “Sir, if all you did was tell me you liked the faucet, how am I supposed to know to order it? Without a deposit or contact information?”

Customer: “That’s your problem!”

Me: “Sir, I can’t order a faucet just because someone expressed a little interest in it.”

Customer: “This level of customer service is horrible! I’m never buying from here again! I’m going to give my money to [Competitor].”

Me: “In fairness, sir, you have never bought anything here.”