Luciliacaca

(A homeowner has stopped me, the supervisor, to ask about one of my coworkers, who I’ll call Lucille-Anne.)

Homeowner: *trumping* “I keep telling Jessica to put the materials in the other room, but she’s not listening. Can you talk to her?”

Me: “I’m sorry. Who’s Jessica?”

Homeowner: “That woman there.” *pointing at my coworker*

Me: “Her name is not Jessica, and I’ll go tell her for you now.”

Homeowner: “How am I supposed to know her name is not Jessica? I keep calling ‘Jessica’ and she won’t answer me! What’s her name?”

Me: “L.A. or Lucy.”

Homeowner: “Is that the same name?”

Me: “No, but she answers to either. Her name is actually Lucille-Anne but she won’t answer to that. Just call her L.A. or Lucy.”

Homeowner: *happy again* “Okay, I’ll go tell her myself.” *wanders off calling* “Lucica! Lucica!”

Me: *calling after her* “That’s still not her name!”