Love Me Tender, Love Me Spew

(My boyfriend is really drunk as it is St. Patrick’s Day, and drunk dials me.)

Boyfriend: “I really want to tell you I ‘L’ you for the first time.”

Me: “I know, but we agreed to wait until you see me in person. Wait until May.”

Boyfriend: “No! I love you! Ha! I said it!”

Me: “Aw. I love you, too.”

Boyfriend: “I’m going to call you back. I need to puke.”

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