Love Is Love… Idiot
(My uncle is a self-proclaimed redneck and always has been. We lost contact with each other but finally got each other’s phone numbers again and are speaking for the first time in seven years. He still lives in a rural southern area and I’ve moved up north. I’m also gay.)
Me: “And also… I’m married.”
Uncle: “Oh, yeah? Who’s the guy?”
Me: “Actually, it’s, um, a woman.”
Uncle: “Oh. Well, you know I don’t understand that, but I don’t have to. Hell, I don’t understand how your daddy has been married four times. I still love you and if your wife makes you happy that’s enough for me. If she hurts you, though, I hurt her.”
Me: “Haha, I’ll tell her.”
Uncle: “You haven’t told Nana, have you?” *his mother* “She’s very against that.”
Me: “Unfortunately, she knows. She still tries to be buddy-buddy with me over Facebook and doesn’t understand why I won’t go visit her after she called me an abomination, a disgrace, and sobbed because I wasn’t going to have ‘natural’ children.”
Uncle: “Yeah, she’s an idiot. You’ve been saying since you were nine that you don’t want kids.” *pause* “I have a question.”
Me: “Okay.”
Uncle: “I don’t know any gay people, just one or two folks who keep it quiet ‘cause of where we live, but… is it really dangerous to admit you’re gay?”
Me: “Depends. If I still lived down south, definitely. I got death threats from Dad’s side of the family down there when we announced our engagement.”
Uncle: “If ya tell me who, I can shoot ’em for ya. The h*** does it matter if you like women? Boobs are great!”
(I missed him.)
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