Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 12

(My husband and I are lying in bed and I have been making zerbert/raspberry ‘fart’ noises on his neck. We have only been married a couple of weeks. After a few minutes of being silly, I am ready to get up and be productive.)

Me: “Okay, honey, time to get up. Can I ‘fart’ on you one more time?”

Husband: “No, let’s fart together! It will be more romantic.” *grabs me and pulls me on top of him*

(He has not been doing zerberts/raspberries on me, so I am momentarily confused. Then, he lets a real one rip.)

Me: *too stunned to do anything* “What was that?”

Husband: “A fart. Did I do it too soon?”

Me: *starts laughing*

Husband: *confused* “What?”

Me: “Did you just real fart?”

Husband: *catching on* “Oh… you didn’t mean that?”

Me: *still laughing* “No! I meant the raspberry farts I was doing on your neck!”

Husband: “…oh.” *a little embarrassed* “I thought it’d be romantic.”

Me: “To fart together? You saved all you weird for when we got married, didn’t you?”

Husband: *dejected* “I still think it would’ve been romantic…”