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Love Is A Many Friendered Thing

| Working | May 11, 2013

(It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m having lunch with my best friend who hasn’t arrived yet. I’m female, and so is she. I get seated and the waiter hands me a menu.)

Waiter: “Hello, welcome. I see that you’re waiting alone. Might you be waiting for someone special? Like, a date?”

Me: “No, not a date. My best friend is coming.”

Waiter: “You can’t fool me, one only dresses that skimpy for a date!”

(The waiter gestures to my clothing and winks. I’m completely confused, because I have jeans and a heavy sweater on, which shows no skin at all.)

Me: “You call this skimpy?”

Waiter: “Yep, I sure do! Anyway, can I get you something to drink while you wait for your date?”

Me: “It’s not a date. And I’ll have some ginger ale.”

(He goes and I’m a little annoyed by his presumptuous manner, but I brush it off thinking he’s just weird. Finally my best friend arrives and gets seated.)

Best Friend: “Hey! Sorry I’m late. Got stuck in traffic.”

Me: “No problem.” *lowers voice* “Actually this waiter of ours is so weird, that he thinks—”

Waiter: “A-hem! I see your date has finally arrived!”

Me: “For the last time she is not my date! She is my best friend!”

Best Friend: “Hi!”

Waiter: “Ooh! Lesbians!” *winks* “Don’t worry, we are VERY LGBT friendly here!” *wanders away with a skip in his step*

Me: *facepalm*