Love Can Be A Gut Feeling

(My fiancée and I are chatting online.)

Me: “Hey a**-hole.”

Fiancée: “What?”

Me: “I love you.”

Fiancée: “I love you, too. Even though I am totally gross and leaking right now.”

Me: “It’s okay. I love you even if your nose is leaking snot.”

Fiancée: “It keeps leaking into my mouth because I can’t breathe through my nose. It’s gross.”

Me: “It’s okay. It’s gross, but you are my gross lady. I would love you even if you bled snot and guts out of your nose. I would just try to shove your guts back in though; you need those.”

Fiancée: “I’m not sure those can come out of my nose at all.”

Me: “You never know. IF THEY CAN COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH THEY CAN COME OUT OF YOUR NOSE! I think I’ve watched one too many Lucio Fulci movies.”