Love, And Other Drugs, Part 4

(I take a prescription medication that has value as a street drug. When we were together, my former boyfriend used to pester me to give him some, and I always said no. The relationship has now been over for several months, and I’m seeing someone new. My ex sends me a text message.)

Ex: “Hey, how’s it going? So, remember back when you said I could have some of your [medication]? Could I get that from you soon?”

Me: “Um… no, because I never said you could have any.”

Ex: “Sure you did. Anyway, it’s not for me, it’s for a friend of mine. It’s not like you need it.”

Me: “I do need it. If I wouldn’t give it to you for yourself, why would I give it to you for a stranger? Besides, I never said you could have any at all.”

Ex: “Aw, c’mon, please? My friend really wants some. You’d like her; she’s just like you.”

Me: “I said no.”

Ex: “Don’t be such a b****.”

Me: “I do not take kindly to being insulted.”

Ex: “I didn’t realize you’d decided to take everything so seriously.”

Me: “Okay, this conversation is over. You’re not getting any drugs from me; I’m off to snuggle with my new boyfriend. If I’m such a b****, and your friend is just like me, why do you want to do her any favours anyway?”

(He didn’t text me back that night.)