Loused By The Spouse

(One of the women at my office is normally patient and well-spoken. She answers the phone.)

Coworker: “Good morning, this is [company].”

Caller: “Put me through to [managing director].”

Coworker: “Okay, who’s calling, please?”

Caller: “It’s [name]. Put me through, please.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, he doesn’t know anyone by that name.”

Caller: “Look, just put me through, okay?! He called me earlier and asked me to ring him back.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, [name]. What is this regarding?”

Caller: “What’s that got to do with you?! I’m trying to return a call with the managing director.”

Coworker: “It has everything to do with me: I’m also a director of this company; I’m the decision-maker for purchasing and the wife of the managing director—who, by the way, has been out of the country all week, so he didn’t ring you. So, whatever you’re trying to sell, you have lost your chance. Do not bother calling here again!”

(My coworker slams phone down.)

Coworker: “Tosser.”