Louie The Heard

, , , , , | Right | May 20, 2021

My name is Louis. It’s pronounced “Louie,” but people get it wrong all the time. 

Customer #1: “Hello, Lewis. Do you have that package?”

Me: “Yes, I do, and it’s actually pronounced ‘Louie.’”

Customer #1: “Oh, like Anne Rice?”

Me: “Exactly.”

Customer #2: “Luis, where is my package?!”

Me: “As I told you, [Customer #2], we are still waiting for the company to ship it to us. And my name is pronounced ‘Louie.’”

Customer #2: *Turning bright red* “Your name is f****** Luis and you’re going to answer to it!”

Customer #1: “Cool it, d*****bag! He said he’s still waiting on it! He hasn’t got magical powers! And you call people what they want to be called! That’s how you show respect.”

[Customer #2] went a weird shade of magenta and reached across the counter and tries to grab at me, but [Customer #1] put him in a chokehold while I call my manager. My manager banned him from stepping foot inside the shop since he tried to assault me; now he has to call ahead and have any packages delivered to his car. He’s also banned from speaking to me. My manager asked if I wanted to press charges, but I decided that’s too much of a headache.

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