Lost Phone, Confused Owner

(I used to work as online technical support for a well-known company, supporting their smartphone and tablet devices. One day I get a support chat from a customer who has lost their phone and needs help locating it. We do not track customer phones, but the phones themselves do have a tracking feature available for the user where they can sign into their account online, and locate and even lock down their phone if it’s lost or stolen. When I am connected with a customer in the chat program, I am presented with their name and other info that they have provided, as well as a description of their issue.)

Me: “Thank you for contacting [Company], Mr. [Customer]. My name is [My Name]. I see that you are contacting us regarding a lost phone; is that correct?”

Customer: “Yeah. I lost my phone, and I want to know if you guys can track it down for me.”

Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that you are unable to locate your phone. We do take our customers privacy very seriously; therefore, we do not have the ability to track any phones or devices. However, we do offer a feature on our devices that allows you to track the device yourself online by logging into your account at [Website]. For this feature to work, you would have had to enable it before your phone was lost. Sir, do you know if you had this feature turned on?”

Customer: “No, because I don’t want you guys having all my information and being able to track me! So I didn’t turn it on!”

(I just stare at my monitor for a moment, trying to process exactly what the customer is telling me.)

Me: “Well, as I stated before, we take the privacy of our customers very seriously, so we do not have the ability to track phones ourselves.”

Customer: “Can you at least lock down the phone for me in case someone finds it, so they can’t use it?”

Me: “I’m afraid we have no way of doing that. We do not have any access to your device whatsoever.”

Customer: “Is there someone else there who can?”

Me: “Sir, I assure you that nobody at [Company] can track or lock down your lost phone. We have absolutely no way of connecting to your personal devices. You may want to contact your mobile carrier to see if they are able to disable service to that particular phone. I’m happy to provide you with the contact information for any mobile carrier.”

Customer: “Nah, I’ll do it myself! This is bulls***!”

(The customer disconnected from the conversation.)