Lost & Found Gets Tossed Around

(I am the office manager at a nice apartment building. It is a secure building that requires anyone entering to use a key code. We’re located in a safe town, and have never had a single incident of theft or other criminal activity. A resident approaches my desk.)

Resident: “Have you seen my sweater? I think I left in down here a couple hours ago!”

Me: “No one turned one in to me. Have you checked the Lost & Found box around the corner?”

Resident: “Lost & Found box? You mean you leave lost items just out in the open like that?!”

Me: “Yes, we put the ‘found’ items in a single location so people are not running all around looking for them.”

Resident: “That is atrocious! Anyone could walk in off the street and steal from the box!”

Me: “This building is locked, ma’am. The only people who have access to this area have a key code, like yourself.”

Resident: “But someone like me could steal them! I could go to that box and steal everything in there if I wanted to!”

(To illustrate her point, the resident runs around the corner, grabs the Lost & Found box, and drags it over to my desk.)

Resident: *flings items out of the box* “I’m going to steal this, and this, and all of these! THEY’RE ALL GOING TO BE MINE!”

Me: “Uh, ma’am? I’m going to have to ask you not to take items that don’t belong to you.”

Resident: “YOU DON’T KNOW THEY’RE NOT MINE!”

(Suddenly, she spots the sweater she was looking for to begin with, and totally calms down.)

Resident: “Oh. My sweater! Oh my God! Thank you so much for helping me find it!”

(She grabs her sweater and happily skips off, leaving the box and all its items sprawled out over the floor.)

Me: *dumbfounded* “…you’re welcome?”