Lost And Found Knows No Bounds

| USA | Right | July 17, 2017

(An older lady walks into the ER waiting room, where I am sitting at the front desk.)

Lady: “I have a strange request for you, young lady. I hope you can help me.”

Me: *thinking I’ve heard strange* “Oh, I’m sure it’s not that bad, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Lady: “Well, see, I was here the other day and I left a pair of earrings here by accident.”

Me: “Oh, that’s no trouble!”

(I pick up the phone to call Security since we hand such items to our Lost and Found.)

Lady: *continuing* “Yes, they’re a small black pair of magnetic earrings. I left them on my wheelchair. ”

Me: *pauses, puts down the phone* “I’m sorry?”

Lady: “I put them on my wheelchair. See, I wasn’t feeling very well, I have vertigo, and I took them off and put them on the nearest metal item! My daughter remembered that, too.”

(At this point I’m thinking it’ll be a little harder to check, since we have about 100 or so wheelchairs on the hospital property and with patients currently using them, but I figure it’s only been a few days.)

Me: “Okay, and when was your visit, ma’am? You said a few days ago?”

Lady: “Well… actually it was a while ago. On [date three months earlier].”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I will do my best but I have to warn you, the likelihood we’ll find them is slim after that long. But I’ll try.”

Lady: “Please do.”

(I call Security, who first asks me to repeat what I just asked for, then where the earrings might have been found, all while this lady keeps interrupting me and “helping” when I’m listening to their answers. After a few minutes they come up empty.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, we don’t have them in our Lost and Found. We can check the wheelchairs we have out here, but unfortunately I can’t go through every—”

Lady: *indignant* “Why can’t we check all the wheelchairs?”

Me: “Ma’am, we have over 100 wheelchairs! And by now the one you were in could be on the other side of the campus, or up on a floor. Some of them have patients in them. I’m sorry but this is the best I can do. Let me help you—”

(She storms over to the wheelchairs muttering under her breath, and I follow, dutifully checking all the metal for earrings. After I have finished under her supervision, she still checks them herself and — surprise — comes up empty.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, did you check your purse when you got home in case—”

Lady: “My daughter and I checked! And she distinctly remembers me leaving them here!” *she goes into a rant about how we aren’t being helpful at all*

(I am about to ask for her name and phone number so we can call in case we find them, but that is the last proverbial straw.)

Me: “Well, all I can say is, I’m sorry, ma’am. I hope you have a nice—”

Lady: *walks away, ignoring me*

Nurse: *pops her head around the corner* “Did that really just happen?”

1 Thumbs
  • Tim McClanahan

    I, too, distinctly remember things I have forgotten.

  • Matt Westwood

    Woman loses something. Woman goes back to find them. Woman annoyed that things she lost can’t be found. Nothing to see here, move along please.

    • EJ Nauls-Poland

      By that logic, none of the stories ever posted on this site deserve it.

      • Richard

        Matt strikes me as one of those people who spends countless hours complaining about something he “hates” while also reading it constantly.

        • Matt Westwood

          And your point is, $h1thead?

          • Raizumichin

            the point is, stop being such a $H1T-slinger if you can’t take any criticism.

          • Richard

            Oh. I thought you would at least deny it. If you want a point, here goes: if this entertainment site annoys you, maybe you could find something better suited to your tastes rather than spending your time in the comments talking about how disappointed you are.

          • Matt Westwood

            Maybe you could just f*** off and mind your own f***ing business, $h1thead.

          • Richard

            That sounds great! The only problem is that you’ve been putting your, uh, business on these public forums for quite a while now. So people are going to notice and say things every now and then.

          • Matt Westwood

            SO F***OFF THEN C**T.

        • GeminiDragonBadger

          I love the block feature.

      • Matt Westwood

        Sturgeon’s law: 90% of everything is [email protected]

        • Chris B

          Hey, cool. That perfectly describes all your posts here.

          FA FA FA!

          • Matt Westwood

            Yeah,. lke you’ve ever done anything of any f***ing use in your f***ing life. Actually, you can go and do something useful now, you can go and k1ll yourself.

          • Michael Bugg

            lol Looks like you hit a nerve, Chris. Well done.

    • Illogically

      Woman loses something. Woman waits three months to try and find them. Woman annoyed that hospital staff won’t drop everything and search every square inch for things she lost.

      Everything can be classified as ‘nothing to see here’, if you strip away all the salient points.

    • felisd

      I see Matt Westwood found his way back on to the discussion boards. It was a nice break after the switch to Discus before he found a way to create an account. Looks like he’s lost a little more civility since then too. I remember when his swearing used to at least be creative. Now it’s just sad.

  • Kitty

    Don’t put easy to lose things like earrings on a large surface that isn’t yours. Though, funnily enough, I just remembered that my mom lost an earring on our front steps when she fell down them. A week or more later, I was coming home and saw a familiar earring on the ground and took it in, asking if it was hers. It was.

  • Max

    Yeah, sometimes you just gotta accept that some things are gone. Especially tiny earrings in a large hospital three months ago. They probably threw them out by accident.

  • godzillahomer

    I was expecting her to be wearing them at the end, and just be so stupid or scatterbrained that she forgot that

  • Darth Pseudonym

    If they weren’t important enough to miss for three MONTHS, they probably weren’t important enough to spend this much effort on.

    • Abigail Hermione Irwin

      Great minds think alike, LOL.

  • Mechwarrior

    I’m guessing that the earrings were actually lost at some completely different location.

  • mischiani

    I lost earrings in a hospital once, too. I was brought in after a three story fall and all of my jewelry was removed for a CT scan. The sports watch and two pairs of costume earrings I’d been wearing were returned when I was discharged, but the one pair of real diamond earrings and a silver bracelet had mysteriously been separated from my other items and lost. In fact, the hospital staff claimed I had never even owned either of those things, saying the morphine had caused me to imagine them. The morphine was so powerful that it even affected my sister-in-law, as she could recall having gifted the earrings to me.

    • Veronica Niechajczyk

      Too bad you couldn’t discount the value of those off of your bill.

    • Bel-Shamharoth

      So…what happened? Did you get them back? Did they find out who did it?

    • Lorcán

      Last time I had a CT scan (of my skull, no less) they left my septum ring in. I don’t remember anything, pretty sure I was still out cold at the time, but I’m guessing they couldn’t work out how to remove the thing and just didn’t bother.

      On the other hand, a silver ring I know I was wearing that night went AWOL. But with the concussion, I’m not actually sure when I last saw it :/ I’m sorry about your earrings and bracelet. That’s a low blow, especially with a suspected/definite head injury.

    • chaotik_lord

      I was brought into the hospital unconscious after a seizure. When I awoke, they already had me in the system with my name, information, and insurance details, but they insisted I was brought in without a wallet. When I asked about this discrepancy, pointing out they couldn’t have gotten my name and insurance without my driver’s license and insurance card, they become nonresponsive. That wallet was a gift from a friend and I was rather attatched to it. But it had vanished😡c

  • Whoever did her piercings must have taken a few errant practice shots when aiming for her ears.

  • Tyler Tenebrae

    Plot twist: daughter sold them.

  • Elizabeth Writer

    “I need something to complain about today. I know! Those earrings I lost three months ago… PERFECT!”