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Loss Prevention Presumes Boss Attention

| Working | May 11, 2012

(My coworker and I are giving our boss grief about being spacey and not paying attention. This begins as she’s walking out to the sales floor from the stock room we’re all in. Note: We wear all-black uniforms.)

Me: *loud enough for boss to hear* “I bet I could take one of these right from under her nose and she’d never notice.”

Boss: *from sales floor* “No, you couldn’t!”

(My coworker throws me an iPhone box, and I stick it into my belt. It’s pretty hard to miss, with the white box sticking straight out of my pants, silhouetted against my all-black uniform. I make no move to hide it. A few moments later, my boss walks into the stock room.)

Boss: *repeating what she said* “No, you couldn’t.”

(At this point, she walks around me from one side to the other.)

Boss: *points two fingers in a “V” at her eyes, and leans in close* “I’ve got my eyes on you!”

(I’m having a hard time suppressing a smile. My coworker is in open-mouthed shock. Our boss looks back and forth between him and I several times, asking ‘What?’ repeatedly. Finally, she looks down and sees the glaring beacon of white.)

Boss: *laughing to the point of tearing up* “OH MY GOD!”

(From that point on, it became a running story. We told everyone at our store, and even other locations. The last thing I did on my last day working for the company was to tell this story to the new guy. The boss’ reaction? “I’m never gonna live that down!”)