Losing The Wrap Battle
Hawaii is very environmentally forward, or at the very least, it’s trying to be. Recently, in the spirit of this, a small change was made in the cafeteria at my job. As is the case with most cafeterias these days, my building made the switch from metal utensils to the “easier to handle” plastic ones sometime in the mid-2000’s. At the time, it presented a nice change from having hundreds of forks, spoons, and knives that required washing and maintenance.
Very recently, the admin decided that we’d be switching over to biodegradable utensils, you know… for the environment. The problem is that they went with the cheapest option that they could stock all three buildings with right away.
Something in the utensils they selected made the food taste… strange… which led to a lot of complaints from all three business centers. Some people think this was a ploy to get us to bring our own reusable sets. Well, if it was, then it worked because many people did.
Today I walked in for breakfast, a little sad that I had forgotten my own set of reusables. I had resigned myself to the fact that I’d have to use chopsticks all day, but then, I noticed that the weird brown forks were gone. In their place were white plastic forks, individually wrapped in plastic bags.
Me: “New forks?”
Cafeteria Worker: “Yeah, too many complaints.”
Me: “So, a different biodegradable option?”
Cafeteria Worker: “Nope, just plastic again.”
Me: “Oh… but they are individually wrapped?”
Cafeteria Worker: “Mmmmhmmm.”
Me: “Are the bags biodegradable?”
Cafeteria Worker: “No.”
Me: “So… now we’re using like two times the amount of plastic we were using before?”
Cafeteria Worker: “Mmmmhmmm.”
Me: “When we made the change to reduce our plastic usage—”
Cafeteria Worker: “—Look, man, I just scoop eggs.”
Me: “You’ve had this conversation before hav—”
Cafeteria Worker: “—You’re the 12th… this morning.”
Me: “Scrambled eggs, please.”
Cafeteria Worker: *Clapping his hands.* “That’s more like it!”
