Look At What You’re Doing, Because You Can
(A patron has asked to speak to me.)
Me: “Good afternoon, madam.”
Patron: *shouting* “Finally! This woman–” *points* “–has been staring at me all afternoon. I want her removed. It is so uncomfortable. It has ruined my entire day. I want our meal for free, and a coupon for–”
Me: *interrupting* “Madam, I can assure you that this lady is not ‘staring.’”
Patron: “Are you f****** blind? Look at her!”
Me: “No, madam, I am not blind. The woman you are accusing of staring, however, is blind, and therefore, I can guarantee with absolute certainty that she is not staring.”
(The patron sputtered and quickly asked for the bill while turning the colour of a tomato. After she paid she practically dragged her husband out. He offered a quick apology to the blind patron and her guest. The guest glared at the couple as they left.)