Look At The Shirt Before You Get Shirty

(My volunteer group has just finished up a community event and we are all wearing bright green promotional shirts. As many other restaurants are full, we all go for lunch at a small pub where the only customers are two middle-aged couples. I am last in line to pay after we have eaten.)

Friend In Front Of Me: “Just the lasagna and lemon squash, thanks.”

(He pays for his items and steps aside with the others who have paid so I can approach the register.)

Cashier: *to friend* “Hey, there’s still a meal and drink to pay for! Don’t think you can just walk on out of here without settling your bill!”

Me: “Um—”

Cashier: *glances at me* “One moment, please.” *to friend* “Just because there’s so many of you it doesn’t mean you can confuse me into thinking you’ve paid for everything! Split billing keeps track of all of it!”

Friend In Front Of Me: *gesturing at me* “Uh, there’s still one more to pay—”

Cashier: “Yes, exactly. One more surf-n-turf and a [soda]! Now are you going to cover the difference between you all or is the cheat who tried to get their meal for free going to own up?”

Another Friend: “I think she has been patiently waiting to pay this whole time.”

(The cashier turns towards me and slowly looks me up and down. I’m in the same lime shirt as all the others.)

Cashier: “Oh, I didn’t know you were with them.”