London: Population 4

(My friend and I are from Newcastle, England. We are on holiday and are lounging around in the pool. A very nice couple from Alabama starts talking to us and realises we are from England.)

Lady: “Are you girls from London?”

Me: “No, we’re are from the north of England.”

Lady: “So that’s next to London, though, right?”

Friend: “Well, no. London is in the south. Nowhere near, really.”

Lady: “So you’re from London; I have friends near London. Do you know them?”

Me: “I’m afraid I really don’t live anywhere near London, so I wouldn’t know your friends.”

Lady: “But you must know them; they are from [place near London]!”

Friend:  “I’m sorry; we don’t live anywhere near London. We live at the other end of the country.”

(This goes on for some time backwards and forwards with us both assuring the lady that London is the other side of the country to Newcastle. The lady sees some more of her friends and calls them over.)

Lady: “Hey, guys, these girls are from London.”

Lady’s Friends: “Really! Do you know [First Lady’s Friend]?”