Hot Headed Mother

(My mom is “frugal” to the point it comes across as cheap and rude. We don’t have central air in our house, so we have several window units. She refuses to put them in until the end of June at the earliest, no matter what the weather is. It’s the end of May, and the temperature has climbed into the low 90s. Inside of the house, it’s reached 97 degrees, and the fans she turned on just move the hot air around.)

Me: “Mom, it’s way too hot in here.”

Mom: “Yeah, I know. What do you want for dinner?”

Me: “Nothing… it’s too hot.”

Mom: “I’ll make hamburgers.”

Me: “You can’t turn the stove on. It’ll just make the house hotter.”

Mom: “I don’t know what you want me to do about it.”

Me: “Maybe put the airs in and turn them on?”

Mom: “No, it’s too early.”

(Everyone else in the house proceeds to come home and complain about how hot it is in the house. My mom is the most vocal with her complaints, yelling at us about it being too hot and our dinner only making it hotter. Despite the rising temperature and her own complaints, she refuses to do anything to make it cooler until this happens…)

Mom: *picking up her dog* “Oh he’s burning up.”

Me: “Because it’s hot…”

Mom: “He hasn’t been acting right all day.”

Me: “Mother, it is 100 degrees in your house. No s***. Nobody has been.”

Brother: “He has the symptoms of heat stroke.”

Me: “So do the rest of us!”

Mom: “Well, put the airs in! How stupid could you guys be? Leaving it this hot all day for my little tiny baby boy!”

(She continued to coo at her dog while my brothers got the window units out of the attic. They put them in, and the house took three hours to cool off completely. This wasn’t the first time she proved her dogs were more important than her kids.)

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