Loan Some Compassion

(I borrow money from the government student loan branch but after my schooling find myself out of work for a year. The loan defaults back to two separate branches of government. The first, whom I owed the larger amount to are completely understanding of my situation and just advise me to notify them when I have employment. I next call the other branch for the smaller amount, which is less than $1000.)

Me: “I was just calling to advise you that I have been unemployed for a while and am not able to make any payments. I was just wondering what kind of interest would be building on this while it sits?”

Employee: *sarcastically* “I am sooo sorry to hear about your situation. But the fact is that the full amount needs to be paid immediately.”

Me: “I can’t pay it right now. I can’t afford it.”

Employee: “Do you know how many times a day I hear these kind of excuses from lazy deadbeats like you? I don’t understand why you can’t just pay your bill.”

Me: “As I just explained, I am out of work right now and have been for some time. I’m living at home and have to borrow money from my parents just to put gas in the car to go job hunting.”

Employee: “Well, just sell something you own.”

Me: “I don’t own anything! I still live at home and I drive my mom’s car! I’m broke! Penniless!”

Employee: “Well, just borrow the money from your parents!”

Me: “I am talking to you right now out of the pure fact that I borrowed money and can’t pay it back and your genius solution is for me to borrow more money?!”

Employee: “Well, just get a job!”

Me: “Are you offering me one?”

Employee: “What?! No!”

Me: “Well, then I guess you’ll just have to wait on your money.”