Living To A Different Beat Than Reality

I get a call on the customer service line.

Caller: “I need to book tickets to see [Famous DJ], and they’re $300. I want to refund [item] so I can get the money back and buy the tickets.”

Me: “Sure thing, just bring the item in with the receipt, and we can get that sorted for you.”

Caller: “You don’t understand, the tickets go on sale in ten minutes. I need that money in my account in nine.”

Me: “We… we can’t do that, ma’am.”

Caller: “Yes, you can, I paid for it, and I have the receipt, and it’s inside your return window!”

Me: “Ma’am, refunds take a few days to process, but also, and do forgive me if this sounds like I’m stating the obvious, but you’d need to go into the store to return the physical item first.”

Caller: “Just process the refund now so I can book my tickets, and I’ll come and bring it into the store tomorrow… maybe.”

Me: “It doesn’t work like that, you need to bring in the item first, and then the refund process starts.”

Caller: “But the tickets go on sale in… nine minutes!”

Me: “I can’t do anything to help you in nine minutes, ma’am.”

Caller: “Ugh, you’re just like all the other stores!” *Click.*