(Little Red Riding) In The ‘Hood

Me: “Hello, ma’am, what can I do for you?”

Woman: “Well, I’m looking for a book to get my daughter reading, but I’m not sure where to look.”

Me: “Okay, what does your daughter like?”

Woman: “She really likes ghosts… and gangs.”

Me: “…?”

Woman: “Oh, she’s a gang member.”

Me: “Um…”

(A tiny, little white girl in a wife-beater hops up to the desk.)

Girl: “Yo, mama, you find me a d*** book yet?”

Me: “…true crime?”

(So, I help them find a book about gang wars, because I guess that fits both stipulations and take them to the register. My manager is working the register and tells me that he used to be really good friends with the mother. After I tell him that she said her little girl was a gang member he tells me that “they both were always a little stupid.”)