Little Pink Lies

, , , | Right | September 19, 2020

We have one regular customer who seems to think we are both her best friends and her therapists. We’ve all heard her entire life story — although how much of it is true, we’re not sure — and far too much detail about her various illnesses.

We actually have a policy in place to stop her from buying anything because on her more lucid days we can tell she spends far too much. For whatever reason, she always gets my name wrong, calling me by a name that is almost like mine but not quite. Normally, I correct her, but I didn’t this time!

Regular Customer: “I’m probably going to change my name this week. I like your name, [Wrong Name]. It’s always been one of my favourite names.”

Me: “Oh?”

Regular Customer: “What’s your middle name?”

Sensing where this is going, I think fast and make something up.

Me: “Margaret.”

Regular Customer: “Oh, that’s nice, too! Well, we’ve decided, then. I’m going to change my name to yours!”

Me: “Uh… pardon?”

Regular Customer: “I like all the hair colours you have; would you do my hair like yours? What’s the favourite colour you’ve ever been?”

Me: “I’m not a hairdresser, [Regular Customer]; I wouldn’t be comfortable doing that.”

Regular Customer: “Oh. But your favourite colour?”

Again, thinking fast.

Me: “Pink.”

Regular Customer: “Well, I’ll see you soon. I’ll pop back in to touch base on Wednesday; our new name will be sorted by then. I’m glad we decided on that.”

She continued on for another half an hour, periodically going to leave and then staying. I have never been so freaked out in my entire life. If she comes back on Wednesday with pink hair and my incorrect name, I am fleeing the country!

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