Litter-ally Addicted

(I’m at a follow up with my doctor, and since I cannot drive my mother is with me. At the previous visit, I was given a prescription that also has a reputation as a street drug.)

Me: “Since the medicine didn’t work, would you be able to take the pills and safely dispose of them?”

Doctor: “I really don’t have any way of doing that. Are they tablets?”

Me: “Yes.”

Doctor: “Just put them in the bottom of the trash, then. As long as you don’t keep them around, it’s fine.”

(My mom, who has been silent the entire hour, finally pipes up.)

Mom: “I know; we’ll throw them in with the used kitty litter!”

Doctor: “Well, I guess someone really would have to be an addict to want them after that…”

(I’m never letting her in the exam room with me again!)