Literally Wrote The Book

(I work as a security officer. This means the location where I work is called my post, and what I am expected to do every day are my post orders. This week I get a visit from one of my many bosses dropping off some new equipment.)

Boss: “Just to give you a heads up, some of the higher-ups are coming by next week on Thursday and Friday to look over some things here and at [Other Site]. I’ll warn you: [Higher Level Person] likes to give pop quizzes.”

Me: “On what?”

Boss: “The post orders.”

(I then laughed and had to explain to her the reason this was so funny to me: I have been at my site for nearly five years. Not only did I update the seriously outdated orders after settling in, but I also keep them regularly updated, as the location has had construction and logistics changes over time. I literally wrote what this person plans to quiz me on.)