Literally Throwing Money Down The Drain

A coworker and I are working night audit at our hotel. A guest comes rushing over to us, looking stressed.

Guest: “You need to call the plumber!”

It’s 2 AM, so my coworker correctly asks:

Coworker: “Is it an emergency?”

Guest: “Yes! I dropped some money into the toilet and didn’t realize until I was flushing it away!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, that money is no doubt ruined and beyond recovery by now.”

Guest: “They’re coins, not paper, so they can be recovered!”

Coworker: “Coins? How much are we talking about here?”

Guest: “All my quarters! They fell out!”

Coworker: “How many?”

Guest: “All four of them!”

Coworker: *Fighting the urge to head-desk.* “Ma’am, at this time of night, we would need to pay a private contractor at least $100 an hour just to get you a dollar in change, which is almost certainly gone, out of the drain.”

While my coworker tries to explain this, I’m standing there having trouble processing the fact that this guest would want to spend their night watching a plumber pull the muck from the thousands of strangers before them out of a toilet to retrieve a greasy handful of change.

After a few rounds of arguing, my coworker opens her personal wallet.

Coworker: “Ma’am, here is a dollar bill. Please try to keep this dry.”

My coworker’s kind offer finally gave the guest the self-awareness to realize the absurdity of her request. She took the dollar bill and went back to her room.

Me: “[Coworker], you didn’t have to do that.”

Coworker: *Huge smile.* “I was feeling… flush.”