Literally Adding Insult To Injury

I had a heart attack as I was walking home and collapsed in the street. As I was lying on the ground, I heard somebody rushing towards me and could feel them lean over me. I was trying to thank them, in a barely conscious state, when they ransacked my pockets, taking my wallet, my watch, and my keys, and ran off leaving me to lose consciousness in the street.

Fortunately, another bystander witnessed what happened and called 911. Soon, I was in the back of an ambulance and a patrol car was headed to my house, where they found and arrested a young man inside loading my goods into his car. He was arrested and a local CCTV camera confirmed that he was the person who robbed me.

A few months later in court, the judge asked this young pillar of the community if he had anything to say for himself before sentencing.

Robber: “Hey, man, I thought he was dead and wouldn’t need any of his s***!”

Strangely, it didn’t mitigate his sentence in any way. The kicker: he was in training to become a pastor.