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Literal Bean Counters

, , , | Right | October 17, 2022

Our Tex-Mex place used to cook the beans onsite from dried pinto beans, which came in hundred-pound bags. One of the counter staff’s jobs was to pick through the dried beans for rocks or any other non-bean matter that was left when the beans were harvested and dried. We did this in a corner at the front counter so we could watch for customers.

One night, I was picking through the beans while my coworker was serving a couple of drunk frat guys. One of the drunk frats walked up to me and stared intently at me as I pulled a few beans from the pile, spread them on the counter, and then brushed them into the pan.

After watching me for like five minutes:

Customer: “Are you counting those beans?”

Me: “Why, yes, sir, I am. We have to make sure there are only fifty beans per burrito.”

He walked away satisfied. Even though the beans, once they are cooked, are mashed and served out of big metal bins that are completely visible to the customers. I’m not sure how he thought we translated fifty individual beans to the amount of mashed beans we put on a burrito.

He’s probably a CEO somewhere.

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