Like Taking Candy From A Baby, Kids, And Everyone Else

(I’m working in my family’s store part-time while I go to college. I am 18 but look a lot like my younger sister, who is 12, and I sound younger than her, as well. It’s October, and we give out free candy to paying customers’ kids or nearby schoolkids. We have a customer who lives next door to our shop; she’s very aggressive and known for shoplifting.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Store].”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

(The customer begins taking candy from the bowl, which clearly has a sign that says, “KIDS ONLY. TAKE ONE EACH.”)

Me: “We ask you only take one or two, not a handful. A lot of kids come by and we can’t keep refilling the bowl.”

Customer: “What?! I’m getting some for my kids!”

Me: “Well, we ask you at least take six and not a handful, since I know you only have three children.”

Customer: “Y’all have plenty of candy in the store. Stop being so selfish and f****** stingy.”

Me: “It’s not being stingy. The owner is paying from their own pockets for the merchandise, and they have to feed their family on the income of this store.”

Customer: “F****** b****!”

(The customer goes off into the store to shop. Meanwhile, my coworker approaches with some small pumpkin decorations.)

Coworker: *to me* “Your father called and said to put the candies in here, so when kids come they’ll have a small gift bag. I’ll keep an eye on the customer.”

(I empty the bowl into the individual pumpkins and leave the bowl on the counter. I’m putting the last of the candy pumpkins into a box when the customer comes back with some items. She’s since eaten all of the candy she took earlier.)

Me: “Is that all?”

(I start ringing her up.)

Customer: “Yeah. What grade you in?”

Me: “I’m in college. I just graduated a few months ago.”

Customer: “Wha— Nuh-uh! How old are you?”

Me: “I’m going to turn 19 soon.”

Customer: “What? Really? You don’t look—”

(The customer starts reaching for the bowl when she notices the candy missing.)

Customer: “What the f***?! Why are y’all acting weird? I ain’t gonna take all your d*** candy.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. The owner just called with a new idea of making gift bags for the kids to give out until Halloween.”

Customer: “Well, then give me three!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you’ve already taken enough candy for your kids.”

Customer: “Why you treating me different, huh? What the f*** is wrong with you?!”

Me: “Please tone it down and refrain from cursing. We don’t want any trouble. We are just doing as the owner asks.”

Customer: “Don’t talk back to me, you little b****! I’ll get your a** fired! Anyway, you’re too young to work here! I know you’re not f*****’ 19! You’re still in middle school, aren’t you? You’re a f*****’ liar! I’m going to call social services and tell ’em they’re hiring 12-year-olds to work here and miss school!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if you want, you can call them. I know how old I am, and so does everyone that knows me.”

Customer: “Get me the f*****’ manager! I’ll get your a** fired SO fast!”

Me: *to my coworker* “Well, you’re the one in charge when my father isn’t here.”

Coworker: *to the customer* “Look, sweetie: this ’12-year-old’ is technically the one in charge, since she is the boss’s daughter.”

Customer: “That is bulls***!”

Coworker: *to me* “Come on, little Miss Boss. Kick her out of the store.”

Me: *nervously* “M-ma’am, w-will you kindly leave t-the store before we call security?”

Customer: “F*** YOU! I’M NEVER COMING TO THIS STORE AGAIN!”

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Coworker: “Please come again real soon!”

(After a week, I had to go full-time to college. However, I learned that my stepmother eventually had to call the cops on the customer and file a restraining order from letting her into the store.)

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