Like, Oh, My F****** God, Totally!

| Friendly | May 4, 2017

(I am a teenage girl, but I dress in a way that people consider to be “masculine” (i.e., short hair, boys clothing) and hang out with a group of guys my age. My friends tend to curse like sailors, and I don’t mind, though I don’t curse at all unless I’m extremely angry (and I’m pretty laid back). My friends also like to joke about how I often kill two birds with one stone. This happens during our lunch from a not-so-great restaurant.)

Friend #1: *complaining about the quality of the food* “This sandwich is the worst piece of s*** I’ve ever had.”

Friend #2: “How dare you insult sandwiches by calling this thing one?”

Me: *sipping my warm soda, speaking in an uncharacteristically girly tone* “Ohmigosh, if they have a refrigerator, they should f***ing use it!”

All Friends: *stare at me in surprise*

Friend #3: “[My Name]… what?”

Best Friend: “Let’s have a round of applause for [My Name], who managed to be at her most profane and her girliest at the same time.”

Me: *closing and tossing the soda* “[Best Friend], shut up.”

(They still bring this up whenever I claim I don’t swear or I’m not a multi-tasker.)

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