Like My Antiques, I Need Love Too

(We rent out individual spaces to people. A new dealer has just moved in and is about to leave the store. Note that she is about 70 years old and I am 30.)

Dealer: “Okay, I guess you have to inspect my bags before I leave.”

Me: “Yeah, we do.”

(It looks like a bunch of moving supplies and paper.)

Dealer: “Are you going to frisk me?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Dealer: “Well, it says you check everything at the door. I figured you’d check me too.”

Me: “Ma’am, we check your bags and boxes, but not you. I’m not going to frisk you, as that is inappropriate.”

Dealer: “Well, it’s been a while for me, dear. You can feel what you want.”

Me: “I’d like to keep my job without a sexual harassment complaint on the record. We’ll just see you next time.”

Dealer: “Oh, come on! It’s been so long!”

(Her 80 year-old husband is standing there laughing the entire time.)