Life’s A Beach
(Most beaches in New Jersey require a badge for access, so it is my job as a badge checker to sell daily, weekly, and seasonal badges to the general public. Most people who come to the beach know this and are ready to pay; some are not. My coworker and friend borrows my bike to grab lunch on her break, and she is returning the bike so she witnesses this transpire. I am a nineteen-year-old female.)
Me: *to a surfer trying to pass my box* “Excuse me, sir. Do you have a badge?”
Surfer: “Badge?”
Me: “Yes, a badge. Here in [Town], we require that all people who want to use the beach must have a badge. It is $10 for the day.”
Surfer: “[State Park] is closed today so why do I have to pay that amount? Can I get a discount?”
Me: “No, sir, sorry, but we’re not affiliated with [State Park]. We have our own rates that we must use. If you go to [Next Town Over], their rate is only $8.
Surfer: “This is bulls***! I have to pay if I just use the water?”
Me: “Unless you can jump from here to the waterline, then you’re going to have to pay.”
Surfer: “Why?”
Me: *prepared because I hear this every single day* “Well, [Town] owns the beach, so therefore you using the beach without paying is considered trespassing.”
Surfer: “They don’t own the beach.”
Me: “…?”
Surfer: “When Sandy happened the waterline came all the way up to the houses; therefore, the town doesn’t own it.”
Me: “Ah, I don’t think that’s right, but okay… It’s $10, sir.”
Surfer: “You take your job way too seriously.”
(Literally, my job is checking and selling badges; that is the entire job.)
Me: “Okay, sir, $10.”
Surfer: “Do you get commission for being a jerk?” *penny boards away*
Friend: “What the f***?”
Me: “I wish we got commission.”