Life Is Stranger Than The Fiction Section

Me: “Sorry, you can’t check this out.”

Patron: “Why not?”

Me: “You have three overdue books.”

Patron: “Is there anyway you can let this slide?”

Me: “Nope.”

(The patron proceeds to take off her shirt.)

Patron: “How about now?”

Me: “No. Please put on your shirt before I call the police.”

(The patron then takes off her pants, pulls aside her underwear, and soaks the floor. It is carpet, so there is a lot of damage. My coworker calls the police.)

Patron: “Now will you let it slide?”

Me: “No.”

Patron: “F*** you!”

(She goes over to a shelf, puts her back against it, and pees all over. It splashes up and ruins several books. She also defecates, picks up one of the books, tears out several pages, and uses it to wipe. The police arrive, and she calls her boyfriend, who is apparently in another section. He pleads with the police to let her free, but they don’t let her. He then adds to the mess that his girlfriend has already made. The police take him too. Later, we find another section that is completely ruined. That must have been where the boyfriend was.)