Life Is Like A Block Of Chocolate; Starts Sweet And Then It’s S***

(I am in a culinary arts class. Our teacher is a charismatic, middle-aged man who is constantly joking and having fun with his students. We somehow get on the topic of chocolate and he shares this story.)

Teacher: “I wish I could show guys the difference between American and European chocolate. Theirs is less sweet and a little bitter. I used to have a giant bar of Belgian chocolate that I would share with students, but it got stolen.”

Student: “Someone stole a chocolate bar?”

Teacher: “Yup! I had a buddy in the Navy who owed me some money, so I said, ‘Just get me some chocolate next time you’re docked in Europe,’ and he got me, like, a twenty-pound bar from Belgium. Every year I would share a piece with my students and let them experience it. Then, one day I walked into the school and someone had drawn all over the walls and floor in brown streaks. At first, I thought, ‘Did someone s*** on the walls?’ Then recognized the smell. Some little b******s broke into my classroom, stole the bar — of which I still had about fifteen pounds — realized they couldn’t eat all of it, and then used the rest to graffiti the school!”