Life In The Lower 48

This was a while ago, so I can’t remember the exact wording, but an article was published in a national newspaper about the top two hundred and fifty employers in the country. Apparently, our company came in at forty-eighth, which was exciting enough to corporate for them to get some T-shirts made.

Manager: “For the next couple of weeks, instead of the regular uniforms, you’re all to wear these T-shirts.”

Me: “They say ‘We’re Number Forty-Eight’ on them?”

Manager: “Yes, in reference to [Article]. We’re all very pleased with the result!”

Coworker: “Who did they consult with to make this list? I wasn’t consulted.”

Manager: “They… uh… well, I believe they conducted some interviews, and…”

Coworker: “Can I get my leave approved this summer, then?”

Manager: “No, [Coworker], I told you that I can’t spare you!”

Coworker: “This doesn’t seem like a top fifty place to work to me!”

[Coworker] was off the next day, but the day after that he was back at work, and we’re all wearing the new T-shirts. One of the cashiers walks over to me and almost whispers:

Cashier: “Did you see what [Coworker] is wearing?”

Me: “The new t-shirt, same as all of us.”

Cashier: “No, not the same. Look again when you see him.”

The next time I walked past [Coworker], I made a conscious effort to look at his t-shirt. It was the exact same color as all of ours, and had the same-sized text and font, but instead of saying “We’re Number Forty-Eight”, it said, “I Just Sent Out Forty-Seven Resumes”.

I didn’t say a word, and not a single manager noticed. Those few floor workers and customers who did notice didn’t say anything either.