Liable Without A Label
(We are sitting at the table having one of our common (weird) family discussions. My father is notorious for saying what he is thinking, rude or otherwise.)
Dad: “Today, [friend] said I needed to come with a warning label.”
Me: *sarcastic* “Gee, how come?”
Mom: “I made one, too. It says: ‘Not responsible for what comes out of either end’.”
Me: “Print it. For the good of mankind.”