LGBTQAJ…

(My boyfriend and I were just leaving the gym after a strenuous ab workout routine that I designed. It is important to point out for the sake of the story that my name is Jess.)

Boyfriend: “Send me those ab workouts again… I need to practice them.”

Me: “Sure. Heck, I can even send you the video I got them from. That way, you can watch a pretty girl doing them!”

Boyfriend: “So?”

Me: “I thought that was a good motivation for guys.”

Boyfriend: “Okay, first of all, I already got to watch a beautiful girl doing them. It was still difficult. Second of all, I’m changing my sexual orientation! I’m Jess-sexual!”

Me: “…You’re what, now?”

Boyfriend: “Jess-sexual! So, even when looking at other girls that may be subjectively pretty, I’m not attracted to them. I only have eyes for you.”

Me: “Awwww! …Wait, this doesn’t apply to other girls named Jess, does it?”

Boyfriend: “Okay, I’m Jess-[My Last Name]-sexual.”

Me: “Yeah, you were better off with the first one. I really don’t think we should make this more specific than it already is…”